Girl Apocrypha - An Interview.

With her stunning vocals and purposeful lyrics, Girl Apocrypha has left a mark the colour of dark red lipstick on the music industry, with her debut single: Dealer. The track starts in a broken up wave of sound, which continues throughout the song, later becoming washed out by the heavy guitar. The ethereal sound of this track can only be described through the feeling it brings. Whilst listening, I am sitting in my room, plastered in posters and the sound bounces off the walls and surrounds me; I feel a weird sense of relaxation, only achieved through the atmospheric textures and melodies that this track brings. For a debut track this song is breathtaking, and I am excited to see how Emia translates this polished sound into the world of live music. 

One of my favourite parts of the song is the rich, haunting lyrics. They are extremely poetic, for example, the repetition of the lyric “I cannot uncover you in all this dirt that flowers grow in”, which not only is a soulful lyric within itself, but the anaphora adds to the intensity. These two lyrics are a metaphor, “I cannot uncover you” suggesting a struggle to see the potential within someone, as it has been buried in negativity. However, the growth of the flowers are a metaphor for the blossoming beauty and development of oneself. “All this dirt” is a beautiful representation of adversity and the ugly parts of life. For me, one of the most important things about music is the message it carries; Girl Apocrypha's ability to take away the stigma in relation to the struggles of mental health by romanticising the ugly parts of life, allows listeners to feel heard, and paves the way for the change that society needs. 

Quantize sat down and chatted with Girl Apocrypha, to find out all things about this new project, and being jealous of the Dr. Pepper jingle girl. Let’s just get straight into the interview shall we?

Firstly, who are your biggest musical inspirations?

“I mean, in general I would have to say: Paramore, My Chemical Romance, I'm a massive Alice Cooper fan. But, for this project specifically, I’m drawing a lot of influence from Placebo, Interpol, kind of like post grunge/post punk bands like that. But also from pop girlies like Lady Gaga and Chrissy Chlapeka, I have been listening to them a lot”

Were there any significant moments throughout your childhood which made you discover your love for music?

“I feel like for me, it's always been a thing, like don’t remember not ever being interested in music, or ever loving it, like even though I haven't come from a musical family, I feel like I started writing songs really really young, like as early as I can remember. I was telling my bassist, Willow, about this the other day, that I wrote this song when I was like 6 years old about being late for a wedding? I wasn't going to any weddings or anything so I don’t know what that was about? And um, yeah, I would always like, try and start bands in the playground and come up with like dance routines and stuff. So yeah, I would not say there was one moment, but two moments that did really stand out, and are sort of solidified in my mind. One where I was watching the video for Smile by Avril Lavigne, and obviously it's just this super cool girl who is holding a guitar and has green extensions in her hair. And I was like, omg, I wanna be her so bad! And also, you know that character, Stella from lemonade mouth? Did you ever see that film?”

No, I feel like I need to watch it now though…

“It is awesome, it is like this Disney film where, these people-”

OMG YEAH!

“Lemonade Mouth, yeah?!”

Isn't it the one where they like, try to start a band??

“Yeah!!”

That just unlocked something in my brain!

“It's so nostalgic, I know! But I remember I was watching that when I was a kid and there was this scene where Stella, the punk guitar girl is playing on the electric guitar and I remember being like woah, I want to do that!”

Releasing your first single must be so exciting, what can you tell us about it?

“Yeah, what the hell! It is very sad, I feel like, in a way, that the songs from After Laughter by Paramore are sad. Like, there's still synths and there's still a beat and stuff, but it's mainly the lyrical content that is like “She’s going through it” you know? But yeah its quite different to most things I've done before musically, like, for the last couple years I've been in grunge bands and you know been writing like music that isn't super heavy in the whole context of the music scene, but for me it was stuff that was inspired by bands like electric wizard and some of the heavier my chemical romance stuff. But this song is in more of a pop direction and I’ve always loved pop music but I’ve never really written it. I've always tried to incorporate pop melodies and ideas into my songs because I just think that pop is fantastic, like it's such a genre that some musicians will hate on just for the sake of it, but I love pop music! Yeah, so it was kind of me going more into that and exploring synths. So the whole song is built around just these two chords played on a logikpro synth. It's very different to me but I do like it a lot!”

The music industry can be a rough place for new artists, especially young women. What words of advice can you give to young people who want to find their way in the world of music?

“I think, thinking about women in music specifically just based on my experiences and my personal ethos, which varies from woman to woman, I think it is so important as a female artist to almost not even see yourself as a female artist, you are just an artist. Like the fact that I am holding a guitar, that makes me a guitarist not a female guitarist. And obviously, you can look at that through an empowering lens, but also I think, at least I definitely as a woman can kind of psych myself out sometimes. like, oh does this person think im bad at a guitar because im a woman or are they judging me or whatever. But a lot of the time, obviously sometimes it can kind of be you in your own head feeling insecure about your own abilities. But, women deserve to be in any space as much as a man does, I feel like that's pretty obvious by now. And I think for me personally the way that I embody that is to sort of not really see myself as a female artist, I'm just an artist. In the same way that no one says a male guitarist, they just say a guitarist.  For me, that's what makes me feel the most included. It's better to just not even think about it. But I think that for young artists in general  who are just starting out I would say just have fun with it! I think that people get very serious about music and they forget that it is supposed to come from ideally a place of love and a place of passion. Just start as many bands as you can, talk to as many people as you can, go to a bunch of gigs, and something will come out of that even if you do just consistently show up you'll have something to show for it. Try and have as much fun as possible, because if you are having fun, and you have a good energy that people want to be around, that's going to help you with finding people for projects, or people who will put you on for shows. Try and like, stay on the positive side of things I would say.”

So how long have you been doing music for?

“I mean basically forever. I've been writing songs since I was young. I've been doing it properly since I was maybe like 16 or something? That's when I decided to go to music college, and I've recently graduated from uni doing music there. Yeah, I've been writing songs regularly since I was maybe 13 or 14. I wrote stuff before then but this was when I started to write actual songs, with a start, middle, and an end, a conventional pop structure. For a while man, I love it so much!”

Just to clear things up. How is Girl Apocrypha pronounced?

“A-poc-ra-fa. No one knows how to say it, it's okay.”

If Girl Apocrypha had to make a jingle for a mundane product what would it be and why?

“Oh My God. Well, I wish I did what that Dr Pepper lady did, have you seen that on tiktok? You haven’t?!?! There was this woman in America who just randomly filmed herself singing a jingle for Dr Pepper and they used it in an ad! And now everyone is trying to make their own jingle for pepsi and stuff to try and capitalize off of it, so I wish I had done that. But if it was something else, maybe like sertraline? I feel like that's quite on brand for me.”

When making music do you write as a character, or as yourself?

“I kind of write music as the worst version of myself. So on a day to day basis when I interact with people, I can be quite scared of saying the wrong thing or making someone angry so there's always this front that I am putting on, where, even if I am upset about something. I'll really kind of avoid saying how I feel about it and I'm trying to get better at this. But I will kind of dress it up quite nicely which oftentimes doesn't work and I just end up sounding really passive aggressive, but when I'm writing songs it’s like, probably why I enjoy it so much, it is the one space where I can be a bitch, I can say the most evil, heinous, dramatic stuff. I think one time, I wrote a song about getting cheated on. I've never been cheated on, I was feeling things, with words coming to mind, and it doesn't really matter. None of it is real and I kind of enjoy that. I enjoy the fact that some of my songs are an exact real account of something that has happened and some of them are just what I'm feeling, insanely exaggerated. I feel like I'm inspired by a lot of violent films and I'm a very non-violent person as I hope everyone would be, but I think in music, it's kind of a space where I can have some quite gross and gruesome imagery, and it's a space where I can explore that side of things. If I was exactly the person that I appear to be in my songs I don’t think that I would like myself very much, or that anyone would like me a lot. Because that's not the space to think positively, it's my space to let all the stuff out that I need to.”

You mentioned films, if your music was in a film, what would the context of the scene it plays over be?

“I wrote a song recently where the main theme was Patrick Bateman. But in terms of the more violent and dramatic imagery, I love Tarantino films. I always say to my friends, if I were a man I would be the biggest red flag ever. All my favourite films are like ‘film bro’ films like Fight Club, American Psycho. As a teenager, I had a Pulp fiction poster on my wall, and I was like ‘wow, i’m such a terrible indie man’. A film that I really love is The Machinist, it is the film that Christian Bale lost a load of weight for. That film is sad, unnerving, and tense in a way that I love a lot. That film to me reminds me a lot of 9-inch nails music, so maybe that one.”

You have lots of live shows coming up this year, what are you most excited for in your live shows, and what vibe do you hope to bring?

“I’m excited to not be terrified of singing live anymore, I have never sung live in my life, not even backing vocals or anything! I’m so scared, but the fact that I have a lot of live shows coming up makes me feel excited to get to a point where it is not such a big thing for me to sing live and in front of people. But I'm excited to see how the songs translate live, I’m excited to see people's reactions. Because with live music, it’s so interesting because you write a song that you think is a banger, but then people aren't really feeling it that much, or there will be another song that you do not really care about that much and people will be like that is the best song you have ever written. I love how unplanned it all is, it adds to the charm.”

What are some non-musical influences that shape your creative process or themes you explore in your music?

“I think just people. I write a lot about people. That’s probably the biggest influence of mine, I write about myself and other people, or how other people make me feel. I feel like there is always stuff to explore, like I was saying earlier you can't always say it to someone's face, it is a place to confess. Or sometimes I will just be really inspired by how someone is; what kind of music someone listens to, how they carry themselves, and get into the stuff they're into and write from there. People, films, other music. I love to draw, paint, make zines, and read other people’s zines as well.”

The music video for your new single is very nostalgic, how does this translate into your music as a whole?

“I didn't actually intend to do all of this when I went into it. I just knew I wanted to have the whole camcorder and green screen video.I was looking for stuff online to include, and I found one thing which I think was one of the early 2000s, and then it all spiralled really. I think I have Sky TV in the background, everything that I could remember from my childhood. The reason I felt really good about that was because it felt really sweet, especially because of the lyric in the chorus which goes I can see your future about as clear as it can get, and even though I wasn't writing the song about my childhood, I liked thinking about past, present and future and being like that's where I was, I’m where I thought I was going to be, maybe better, and things are just going to get worse. In the last chorus of the video there's even a clip of my younger self singing, at like 7 years old, paparazzi by Lady Gaga, and it was so cute, and so funny. I wouldn't say my music as a whole is overly nostalgic, with that song, I really wanted to encapsulate the vibe of would little me be proud of my current self? And unfortunately in the context of this song, the answer is no, and I feel like that really adds to it, and just makes it even sadder, in a way that I think is cool!”

Do you think in your future works, nostalgia will build into your music writing?

“Definitely, but it is not really something that I go for as a rule, or as a brand. But, early 2000’s pop, I was born in 2002 so obviously I grew up with Lady Gaga, Katy Perry. I don’t know what was in that music, but it was good. I think I'm always going to be referencing how it shaped me as a kid. Something that you can't beat about a pop song that you loved when you were like eight years old like there's nothing you will find that will come close to that. It’s such a sacred thing. I'm sure I'm always gonna come back to that. The next song that I'm doing - actually, I don't know if you can see but I'm still stained red because I was doing a music video. I was like covered fake blood for the next single and that song and video, the main reference for the video was Just Dance by Lady Gaga, and the song is quite Lady Gaga. I think it will always be a part of it. However, at the same time I do want to try and stuff. I feel like nostalgia has become, in recent years like super trendy which is super cool in a way, but also I feel like people are relying a little bit too much on references and essentially doing the same thing without putting their own twist on it and reinventing it, not that I am reinventing anything but, that's why with my music, I like to try to not just reference but go forward with it, personally.”

I’m already excited! That sounds so fun, so linking into this what role do you think visual aesthetics and style play within the music industry?

“A big role! Objectively a massive role! But it is interesting, because I was talking about her earlier, my bassist and my best friend Willow. She never watches music videos because it ruins the song for her. She will have an idea in her head of what it's like, and then she'll watch the video be like “Oh that's not that's not what I thought it was”. But for me, I love music videos so much! When I was preparing for that video, I just told you about, me and the director, Isaac, from Tabby Cat, (he is awesome - he does really cool videos) we were just sending each other music videos back and forth, and I was almost overwhelmed with how much I love music videos. I was getting emotional, watching some of them like “I love art, I love music!”. I was watching the video for Closer by Nine Inch Nails, OMG what an incredible video. Obviously yeah, the song on its own, or music on it’s own is great, but when you add a really sick visual, it really elevates it in a way that I cannot even describe, it is just the coolest thing. When someone is scrolling through their phone or whatever, they are going to see you before they hear you really. And there have been times where I have just been mindlessly scrolling on TikTok,as I do for hours on end, and no-one really goes on social media in order to find music, it kind of just happens, and if I see a really cool visual, it makes me stick around longer, it gives the music a chance. Also, it is just fun! Like I said, I loved Alice Cooper as a kid, obviously still love him. Him and Lady Gaga were some of my favourite artists as a kid so obviously I am going to be doing weird visual sh*t. Which is more obvious in the upcoming video. But it plays such a big role and, as it should honestly! I hear some musicians saying that they wish it wasn’t so big as part of it, which I understand if you want to focus on the music, I can respect that. But for me, I love all the visuals. It is so much fun! I had so much fun filming that video the other day. Not to sound egotistical, I just love being in front of the camera, I find it so funny like why am I here?”

When you are writing do the ideas of music videos for the songs reflect into the lyrics? 

“Honestly, not really, I don't think so. Because when I am writing, I get quite hyperfixated on it, and all I am thinking about is how the song feels, or how it looks, not in a visual way. Sometimes when I am writing, it is hard to explain but I see the structure of the song and the music in like waves or like ups and downs so I’m thinking of it that way. But when I finish off the demo, and I am listening to it on the bus or something, that's when I start to think of ideas for visuals. But yeah I mean I quite like you know just improvising things and kind of winging it. The video for dealer, I wanted to use the green screen but that wasn't like a specific thing I was set on it was just because my friend Lottie, who I work with a lot, had access to this TV room in her uni, that we could just use for free, and it had a massive green screen. Because of that, I was like we might as well use it! I think when you're like a really small artist it's all about working with what you've got, and like with the resources that you have,and that the people you know have. The video that I have been talking about, that I’m still stained from, I filmed in my bedroom, just because I thought it looked cool enough to be in a video you know? Then we didn’t have to hire out a set or anything! But yeah no I don't really think about the video while I’m writing the song, that comes like the day before I am meant to be filming it!”

Dream artists to support?

“Definitely, like if I could choose it would be Paramore. I have a Paramore tattoo, like that’s how much I love them. They’ve just consistently been my favorite band ever yeah, I love them so much! If I ever not even just got to support them, but if Hayley Williams noticed me in any capacity, like if she liked the tweet that was somewhat about my music, I think I would frame it, and put it up in my house and cry everyday for the rest of my life. There are so many artists who inspire me, there are even artists within my local scene, in Brighton, who I haven’t gigged with yet, who I am just like “I wanna gig with you so bad!” It is not even just on a super high level. I get emotional quite easily, I am a very sentimental person, so even if it was just any artist that I listened to when I was younger, I feel like that would really hit me, and I would be like that's so cool. 

There is this band called “Crawlers”, I used to have this weird thing - brief sidetrack - where before I was in a band or making music, it was the pandemic and I was really fed up with my own life and creativity. So every time I saw them doing something cool, I would be so crazy jealous. I feel really bad about it now because I think they’re so cool and I love their music, I don’t even know what that was. 

But anyway, I was following their career quite closely, for a little while, they opened for My Chemical Romance, and I can't even imagine how insane that must have felt! Especially because they come from an emo and alternative background, and all of them in the band, whenever they were asked about it in interviews, they just looked so grateful. If I could have a moment even similar to that in my lifetime, I would be happy. But there are already people who I have played with who I was like woah you’re so cool”

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this interview as much as I did! Listen to Girl Apocrypha’s debut single “Dealer” here!

https://open.spotify.com/track/7B1lt0X68KuA8iUyemsZhC?si=-ZlodEZ6SUyDSQMjeq_wag